Because of various problems with Blogger, I've copied everything as of November 26, 2012 over to WordPress. The new location is Ask the Scientologist. I am not deleting this blog and will still accept comments and answer questions here too, but any new articles will appear at the WordPress location. I apologize if this causes any problems.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

If Scientology Worked...

If Scientology worked as well as the Church of Scientology claims, what would the church be like?

If Scientology worked, the citizens of Clearwater, Florida, would, by now, be extremely happy to have "Flag, the Mecca of Scientology" in their fair city. After all, the vast benefits and good community work would have won them over completely. But, excluding Scientologists themselves, the people of Clearwater are still very upset with how the church "snuck" into town and would be very pleased if the church just snuck right back out.

If Scientology worked, their superior public-relations technology would ensure that the public image of the Church of Scientology was overwhelmingly positive, all over the world.

If Scientology worked, the church would never be embarrassed when their videos are leaked (and found to contain bogus claims by bogus "officials").

If Scientology worked, their powerful OT-8s would make everything go right, not only for Scientology but for the whole world. They are, after all, cause over life, form, matter, energy, space and time ... aren't they?

If Scientology worked, there would be no accusations of abuse, crimes or fraud. Their superior technology would quickly clear up everyone's difficulties, and would effectively "shatter" any suppression so that there would be no victims and no enemies.

If Scientology worked, there would be world-wide acclaim at the Church's effective solutions in disaster areas, war zones and poverty regions. The demand for Scientology solutions would be overwhelming. People outside of Scientology would actually be aware of these "solutions".

If Scientology worked, the huge news announced in the big Scientology events would actually be true and would be reported by regular news sources outside of the events.

If Scientology worked, no one would ever want to leave the church. All promises would have been kept, all promised benefits would have been true and the number of Scientologists, world-wide, really would be in the tens of millions (instead of the actual figure of less than 50,000 and falling).

If Scientology worked, the Church would not be desperately hammering the few remaining Scientologists for money, more money and even more money.

If Scientology worked, all the top executives of the Church would still be there, on post, instead of only David Miscavige.

If Scientology worked, they would not have to lock disaffected staff up in pseudo-prison camps to keep them from leaving and telling their stories.

If Scientology worked, I wouldn't be writing this post.


  1. That's so true, Bill. We of the Anonymous campaign have often wondered why it is that all those OT's have not been able to "shatter the supression" of our demonstrations over the last few months. I guess their superpowers don't work so well when they're outnumbered and hiding in their buildings.

  2. I can see the Scientology OTs now, they're hunkered down, wondering why someone doesn't handle the situation.

  3. Another awesome blog, keep up the good work!

  4. But don't you see? Scientology tech does work! It's just the world-wide conspiracy of bankers, communists, nazis, psychiatrists, doctors, and pharmaceutical companies dedicated to preventing scientology from saving the planet!

  5. LOL! So it's only Scientology's "How to shatter Suppression" course that doesn't work?

    Now I've got it! ;-)

  6. Absolutely superb insights--thank you!
    --A member of Anonymous from Portland, Oregon

  7. Would you mind us using this article at a protest? Some of those 'if Scientology worked...' things would be great slogans for shouting and signs.
    -Another Portland Anonymous

  8. Feel very free to use anything you find useful. I approve.

  9. This site has been amazing and contains some really awesome truths. I live in Clearwater, FL and have for a good 20 years (i'm 26 now). I date a scientologist (who is also a fulltime college student and not usually on course) and have been very upset with the unannounced drop-in visits from his course sups trying to get him back in. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY MONEY and they won't understand that and give him time to finish his college classes. He now is in college for 15 credit hours (5 fulltime classes) *and* they want him on course 5 3 hour periods a week. and call and call and "stop by" *MY* house because they know he will be there.

    I wish there was a way for him to read this without getting upset.

    i agree, LRH's original Tech is awesome, some of it really makes sense. But i will not let him spend a million dollars to Mr. Miscaviage's "church"

  10. That can be a bit hard to do: Enlightening a Scientologist to some problems with the current church. Obviously, you know the approach must be gentle, and not perceived as an attack, since they have extreme reactions if they think Scientology is "being attacked."

    Some of my articles, such as An Open Letter to All Scientologists might be gentle enough. If you think it might work, feel free to copy it and print it out.

    Good luck.

  11. Hi Bill
    I'm from Mexico
    This is an awesome blog!!!
    The info is brutally direct and honest
    Would u mind if I translate this article to spanish and post it in Anonimos México and Anonimos España (Spain) Ning Page?

  12. Hello! I would be absolutely delighted if you would translate and post this article, or any of my articles.

    If you would give me acknowledgement/link back, I would appreciate it, thanks!

  13. Hi Just Bill
    Thanks a lot!
    I recently discover the anon ning pages and realize that are easy to admin and very useful to anons in several countries (a good example could be Anonymous Ireland and Maracab ning page
    I'm trying to reactivate the Anonimos España Ning Page(
    and create the page of Anonimos México ( because a group of Anons told me they need translate to spanish flyers and documents, because Co$ are trying to invite latinamerican people to the cult, but their info is in english so we need to warn to mexican-american community in Spanish, and the info of your blog is excelent.
    Thanks again Just Bill, keep doing a great job!

    Best regards from Mexico
    Annia Lilith

  14. Thanks Annia!

    Yes, people in other countries need to be informed about the lies being told by the Church of Scientology. Your work is fantastic!

  15. If Scientology really worked, DM would have never been able to take over. The PTS/SP tech would have spotted and handled him back when he was still a pup in the CMO.


Comments will be moderated. Have patience, I get around to it pretty quick. As a rule of thumb, I won't approve spam, off-topic, trolling or abusive stuff. The rest is usually OK. Yes, you can disagree with me.