Scientology and the Emperor's New Clothes

You are, undoubtedly, familiar with the fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes" by Hans Christian Anderson.

Plot summary from Wikipedia:

An emperor of a prosperous city who cares more about clothes than military pursuits or entertainment hires two swindlers who promise him the finest suit of clothes from the most beautiful cloth. This cloth, they tell him, is invisible to anyone who was either stupid or unfit for his position. The Emperor cannot see the (non-existent) cloth, but pretends that he can for fear of appearing stupid; his ministers do the same. When the swindlers report that the suit is finished, they dress him in mime. The Emperor then goes on a procession through the capital showing off his new "clothes". During the course of the procession, a small child cries out, "But he has nothing on!" The crowd realizes the child is telling the truth. The Emperor, however, holds his head high and continues the procession.

The point, of course, is that when people buy into some idée fixe that does not match reality, they inevitably have to choose: Deny reality or deny the fixed idea. What makes the story so odd and funny is that all the adults in the story chose to deny reality.

Scientologists will be familiar with this concept as Hubbard's "held-down seven". He compared the aberrated mind to a calculator with a stuck "7" key. No matter what you enter into that calculator, the results will be wrong, because "7" has been arbitrarily and automatically entered into every calculation.

So what does all this have to do with Scientology?

Scientologists have a very, very strong and inflexible idée fixe that alters and colors everything they see, everything they hear, everything they do. It is completely arbitrary, unproven and even uninspected, yet it is the foundation of all they believe in.

It is this:

L. Ron Hubbard created a technology that solves everything and always, always works perfectly.

There is, actually, no proof that this statement is true, but all Scientologists would agree, without hesitation, that this statement is absolute Truth.

Because reality doesn't conform to this statement, once this idée fixe has been accepted as absolute Truth, more assertions must be made and must become incorporated into a Scientologist's "reality".

If Scientology "always, always works perfectly", what do you do when it doesn't work? It can't be that Hubbard was wrong! It can't be that the technology was ineffective, or wrong! It must be someone else who is wrong. And so you get this:

If Scientology doesn't work, you haven't applied it correctly.

Ah! Now everything is OK! This is the ultimate excuse and the most amazing and perfect way to ensure that Scientology "always works perfectly".

If Scientology failed, well, by definition, it wasn't Scientology!

If Scientology succeeded, then it was Scientology!

It's the ultimate excuse for any failures in Scientology. No one can prove that Scientology works, no one can guarantee that Scientology works -- but they can redefine any failures as "not Scientology", and, well, that fixes it.

Almost.

You will still get a few people who will very carefully apply Scientology exactly as Hubbard said, and it still doesn't work. What to do? Scientology was applied exactly as Hubbard said, and the good results didn't occur!

Do we accept that Scientology is flawed? Nope! Here's what we do:

Scientology won't work on Evil People!

Perfect! If you don't get better from Scientology -- it's your fault! You are an Evil Person!

Ah! This is really nice! Now you can't complain if you don't see any results! To do so would be to confess that you are an Evil Person! Perfect!

Here is what happens: There are probably several tens of thousands of Scientologists out there, and each one of them didn't get the promised gains from Scientology. I'm not kidding here, not one single person got the promised gains from Scientology. They will inevitably claim they were "happier" after this action or "more certain" after that action, but it is absolutely true that none of them actually got the promised gains from Scientology.

Let me be very clear, here. Some people are confused about what I'm saying. I'm not saying they get no benefit, I'm saying that no one is getting what is specifically promised as abilities to be gained from each and every one of the Scientology levels. These abilities are explicitly promised by Scientology, but never delivered to anyone.

But Scientologists can't admit it! They think that every other Scientologist got the promised gains, and only they didn't. And, because they didn't get the "guaranteed" gains from Scientology, they believe they must be Evil! So they can't admit it. Since they can't talk about it, and they certainly can't tell anyone that they didn't get the gains, nobody in Scientology knows that this lack of results is universal.

No one is getting the promised gains from Scientology. They're all pretending they did and thinking that everyone else really did. And they are all hoping that the next Scientology level will be the one where they get the gains.

They are all wearing Hubbard's New Clothes! Each one is naked and pretending that their clothes are just as beautiful as the clothes every other Scientologist is pretending to wear.
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Scientology Results

mir·a·cle (mĭr'ə-kəl) n.

1. An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

• L. Ron Hubbard referred to the "miracles" produced by Scientology. He claimed that Scientology could produce results that would appear to be miracles to non-Scientologists.

Much of the hard-core belief in Scientology is based on this premise that Scientology regularly and predictably produces "miracles". Scientologists will brazenly make that claim with no qualms. They quite believe this.

Oh really?

And is this claim made from personal knowledge? Have these Scientologists actually experienced some kind of "miracle"?

No.

What most Scientologists have experienced is times of more happiness, which they have attributed to Scientology. Scientologists will sometimes speak of having an "increased awareness". Obviously those who consider themselves "Scientologists" do so because they got some benefit from Scientology.

But is this unusual? Is this sort of personal improvement unique to Scientology?

No.

Various practices, books, music, teachings have, for millenia, brought people greater happiness, awareness and enlightenment. This is not unusual. In making some people happier, Scientology is doing nothing unusual nor miraculous.

• Scientologists are fond of saying "Scientology works!" Scientologists will claim that what is different about Scientology is that it is "scientific" and that it works 100% of the time -- standardly and without fail on everybody.

Oh really?

According to the Church of Scientology's own statistics, tens of millions of people have "tried Scientology". In its press releases, the church counts all those people as "Scientologists". However, the church's own, internal statistics show that there are less than 50,000 people actually active in Scientology. As with anything, one can assume that those who found Scientology workable, stayed and those who did not get any benefit, left.

Instead of 100% workability, it appears Scientology's actual workability percent is less than 1%.

Given that the "placebo effect" (people who improve, even though an inactive substance or procedure was used, just because they expected to improve) is usually estimated to be above 30% -- this 1% workability percent is a bit shocking.

So, if it isn't this mythical "100% workability", what is it that makes Scientology different, unique, special and important?

• Scientologists will point to various "solutions" to a number of serious problems: Drugs, illiteracy, mental health. These Scientology solutions, the Scientologists would say, are the answer to the world's biggest problems!

Oh really?

If this were so, there would be evidence that these Scientology solutions were actually accomplishing what they claimed. David Miscavige, in his gaudy event presentations, is happy to present a few anecdotal stories concerning the successes of these Scientology solutions, but no evidence.

Experts in the fields of drugs, education and mental health have not found Scientology's solutions to be particularly different or effective. Independent, unbiased testing has not been done, and is not authorized by the Church of Scientology. There is no evidence available -- and the church is making very sure there never will be any independent testing.

• Scientologists will all claim that Scientology makes people better and that nothing else is as effective.

Oh really?

What you hear, from the less than 1% of the people who have actually had benefits from Scientology is not much different from the testimonials of people who have tried any one of the hundreds of other self-help practices: "I'm more aware," "I'm happier," "My life is better."

Do Scientologists report personal gains at all different from stories reported by other people from other self-help practices?

No.

My point is not that Scientology "does nothing." My point is that Scientology does nothing different or miraculous. When it does "cause improvement" it only does so in less than 1% of the people who try it.

So what is it that is so valuable about Scientology?

• Scientologists will say that what makes Scientology different and important is that it is a "bridge" to a higher state of being -- the OT Levels.

Oh really?

The abilities and benefits that Hubbard claimed for Clear and OT were miraculous indeed. But has anyone ever gained or exhibited any of those abilities or those benefits promised by Hubbard?

No.

Of the hundreds of people who have completed OT VIII, none of them have demonstrated anything miraculous or particularly outstanding. In fact, many OT VIIIs have now left Scientology.

David Miscavige drinks half a bottle of scotch a day while presiding over the destruction of the Church of Scientology that, every day, gets worse and worse. That isn't very "OT".

Even L. Ron Hubbard, who supposedly attained some super-high level of OT, died in pain, hiding from the law and betrayed by those he trusted. That isn't what Hubbard claimed that Scientology could produce.

If Scientology is a bridge to a higher state of being, why hasn't anyone attained any "higher state?"

If Scientology is as miraculous as Hubbard claimed, why are the "results" from Scientology so very, very ordinary and happen so very, very rarely?

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It turns out that Scientologists are not holding on to Scientology because of their own results, which are rather ordinary, nor because of anything they've actually seen with their own eyes. Scientologists, it turns out, are holding on to Scientology because of the wonderful miracles that Hubbard spoke of (but never produced).

Scientologists are holding onto a dream that Hubbard created only in their minds. Such dreams are very hard to let go of, no matter how nonexistent they are in reality.
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